thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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