Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
