Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
