Buhtt sex?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
