They should really pass out barf bags in church
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
