Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hippo gnu deer
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
