dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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