There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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