dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
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