windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
