Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
