Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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