She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
