I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
