All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
