Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
