they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
