STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you inspire me to be a worse person
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Every concussion has its silver lining
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
