I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
this will be a night to untag.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
