the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
