He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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