My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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