It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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