does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
