Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
