And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
