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What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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