glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
