even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You ate ashes out of my bong
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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