i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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