reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So many bounce houses so little time
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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