The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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