Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
