I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
