i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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