I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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