As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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