That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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