Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
