I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
