I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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