Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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