Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
