My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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