my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
