You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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