Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
