So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
