Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
