I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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