I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
